BABEL

Isn’t that so like God, to burn into your heart that you are a preacher and then to promptly strip you bare of all your convictions. I might have predicted it.

That trying to build a tower up to God is a futile thing. If all of us together, in one accord, with one mind, could agree to work together on anything, we would not come even close to comprehending the ways of God – though we might be in grave danger of toppling. It’s no wonder that God confused us in our communicating with one another. God wants us to work together, but God has never wanted us to fall headlong. God never wanted us to forget that we are earthbound, that the things Divinely purposed for us are here.

I am considering removing the word sin from my vocabulary. That knowledge of good and evil – I don’t believe we were ever meant to have it. I surely don’t know what to do with it – I’m trying to get back to innocent. Innocent, like born again. Innocent, like baby. Though I try, though God speaks it with signs and in parables, I cannot rightly divide the Truth. I cannot scoop out the marrow without carving off one side of the bone. I cannot even harvest the good from my own heart – it is a field wild with wheat and tares, and God speaks ever clearer, Just leave that to Me. Let it all grow together. I do know how to rightly divide.

I know sin divides me from God – interferes with our relationship, keeps me from gazing on Holy. It’s the stuff that makes your face melt, makes your heart burn, makes your skin feel like it’s on fire – standing anywhere near Holy just makes it worse. God, how I believe in Grace. Yet I know that my errors have drawn my heart closer to God than any other force on earth – not to understanding God, not to being like God, not to pleasing God, but to knowing God and to loving God. In the Biblical sense.

Sometimes God moves so far back into the Universe when I err, that I think I can almost see Him in full – He gives me a completely different point of view. I gain new knowledge. I gain new insight. It’s from those depths that I gain new wisdom. The closer I feel to eternal separation, like maybe He’s never coming back, the deeper I hear His voice, the heavier I feel His hand, the more earnestly my heart desires Him, the truer I know God is real. I don’t understand it. It’s not very good theology.

 For we know in part, and we prophecy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a woman, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:9-13