Tuesday 26 March 2013

THE SCARS THAT LOVE BUILT

There is a cross inside my body – a sliced T where my son was cut out and pulled from my womb. He was a little tangled – upside down and backwards – and it took a bit of doing to get him out. He is so beautiful.

I heard the word natural a lot after giving birth to my children. As in, Did you have a naaaatural childbirth? I know what was meant – the question was really, Did you take the drugs, or did you take the pain? And in what manner did that baby get out of your body? It felt like I was being asked, What kind of woman are you? It felt like a litmus test – an analysis of my character, my capacity for selflessness, my inner fortitude, the purity of my love. Sometimes it felt like they were asking about my wedding night – as in, Did you wear white?
I don’t like the way it sounds – natural – like there was something unnatural about being cut from my body. There was no other way for him to be born. It was the most natural thing in the world to say to the doctor, Just do what you have to do. My body, for his life – it wasn’t any kind of choice.
I thought about this when I heard my daughter use the words my fault to repeat the story of Jesus’ death on the cross. It kind of made me cringe. My fault. I had audio for the sermon that was playing on repeat in her head – I know it line for line. Jesus died for you – for your sin. If there was no other person on earth, and it was just you, Jesus still would have died – he loves you that much. If all you had ever done was to tell one little white lie, Jesus still would have had to die – your sin separates you from God. Even if by some miracle you had never even sinned, he would still have had to die for you – you can’t stand in His presence, He’s just that holy and you, in your very nature, are a hopeless sinner. But because he loves you, his body was broken for you. He was stripped and flogged for you. He bled, he was pierced, he was humiliated – he did that for you. He died because of you.
That can sound a whole big bunch like, It’s your fault.
But I think about the T-shaped scar inside me, and the straight one stitched across my abdomen where the doctor cut my child out of me Caesar style – and I look at my beautiful son – and I never think the words, You did this to me. I never, ever imagine, It was your fault.
That would just be ridiculous. What does blame have to do with any of it?
It wasn’t his fault that I conceived him, that I wanted him, that I loved him and had a name for him before he even existed in my mind. It wasn’t his fault that he grew in me upside down and backwards. It wasn’t his fault that I submitted to the will of the Physician to do the only thing possible, the one thing necessary, to give him life.
I chose him. I loved him. The entirety of my flesh was devoted to him. And so what, if my body was wounded to give him life? I would have died for him. My scars are my commitment to him carved in my flesh, and I wear those scars with joy. It was my honour. It was my responsibility. It was my job.
There’s no great mystery to it – it is not about fault.
It is simply the nature of Love.
And there is no real strangeness to it, though it is beyond all comprehension – because of overflowing joy and absolute Love, It is God Who is the singer of the Easter song, and God sings that song over me…
She lives!

 Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross. ~ Hebrews 12:2