ADVENT

I’m really feeling the Advent spirit in a big way this year. Like I’ve been a long time in sin and error pining. Like life is hitting me upside the head with you have to, and it’s taking me on a journey that I really would rather not go on right now. Like everything is so necessary and busy that there would be barely any time or room left for pressing things like giving birth. Like I just wish everything would stop for a minute so I can be quiet, make room in my heart to ponder things, and feel heavy and joyous with expectation. Totally like Advent.

God came into the world so inconveniently. It really wasn’t a good time. It almost seems like maybe God didn’t plan it very well – didn’t factor in things like government and censuses. It’s as though God didn’t know anything about how once-in-a-lifetime the birth of your first baby is, and how scared you are, and how full your bladder is all the time, and how much you don’t dream of giving birth in a barn. But God didn’t seem at all concerned with finding a convenient time. Ready or not, God had no problem with interrupting absolutely everything.

I’m not convinced that God is really excited about having a birthday party every year. I’m not sure God is really impressed with how long it takes us to plan it. I don’t think God is tickled over how grumpy and overwhelmed everyone gets over it, and how we start to stick our fingers down our throats after hearing the same song sung thirty billion different ways every day for a month. I don’t think God is thinking, You know what is awesome? Presents! I want everybody to have presents! I don’t think anybody really thinks any of that – but we do it all anyway, because of God, in God’s name.

I think that we need to be honest with ourselves – we’re trying very, very hard to make room at the Inn for God. We’re planning way ahead of time. We’re baking, we’re decorating, we’re sending out cards, we’re popping little doors open on calendars. We’re expectant. We sing, O Come, O Come Emmanuel – we meet with God, we ask God to be with us. We behave so convincingly as though we believe God’s presence is something we have to anticipate, go find, invite, make welcome, make space for. We don’t seem to really understand what Emmanuel even means – welcome or not, invited or not, ready or not, noticed or not, God is with us.

I will give my children presents this Christmas. We’ll have new pajamas, a tree and a turkey. We’ll eat cookies, and we’ll watch Christmas movies like, Home Alone and Christmas Vacation and Scrooged. Someone will read Luke 2:1-20, I’ll cry when I hear O Holy Night, and we’ll wrap each other up in ribbons of peace, family and love. In the midst of it all, I will try not to let my heart get expectant and ready and prepared for God. God is already here.