There’s something about a wobbly peg that makes people start
looking around for some glue.
I get bumped by the paradoxes and the inconsistencies. God is a lion, God is a lamb. Do not be a
slave to ‘do not touch this, do not touch that’ – but seriously, do not touch
that, ok? It is for freedom that I am made free, but really only technically – I am free to want and to
do the will of God. If what I want to do is to run wild, then I am free to
either get hemmed in or fenced out. If I’m not careful with my thinking, I can get lost in the brambles. I can start to feel that God is giving mixed messages.
Things don’t always line up. We pray fervently in the Name
of Jesus for people to be healed and they are not healed. They die. They do not
get back up from the dead, even though we pray, In Your Name, by the power of your Name, not for ourselves but for Your
Glory and for the Glory of Your Great Name. They stay sick and they get
sicker and they suffer, even though the Bible says, If you ask for anything in My Name – if it’s something that is within
My will, and if you ask with right motives, and if two or three of you come
together in agreement to ask Me, and if you ask and ask and ask and ask
persistently until I give you what you ask, but still are able to wait
patiently in faith believing that you have already received what you have asked
for – then you can be pretty sure that I will almost certainly let you have it.
That is not verbatim.
And how can we discern this will of God, upon which everything depends? Do I walk by the
Spirit, or stay put in the Spirit? Do I walk on the water, or do I sleep in the
boat? Do I speak to the storm, or do I ride it out? How much does it matter? When
you are surrounded by chaos, it’s hard to hear that still small voice that says,
This is the way, walk in it. That
voice can be very still and very small, or maybe really loud but talking to the
person next to you. If you’re listening for it, you can actually get a little
paranoid and start second-guessing yourself every time you get on an airplane
or think about which route to take to school. Oops, I turned left instead of right. Great. I was distracted, and now
I’m stuck in traffic. Oh but wait – Oh no. Was there some place I was meant to
be, and now God’s plan has been thwarted? Or maybe there is something that God
means for me to do on this road, and so He took me out of my way. I could be
right smack in the middle of God’s will right
now. This is so exciting. I’m starting to feel all tingly – Is there going
to be an accident??
I’m not even kidding. Sometimes I want to say to God, Could you speak up? Could you please be a little
more specific? I’m getting a little muddled. Can’t you just give me some rules?
Maybe a chart of some kind, with some stickers for when I get it right? I need
some boundaries. Fixed rules, set in
stone, so I don’t have to always be asking You – waiting on You – while I’m trying to make basic decisions. Turn
left here, turn right there, if this happens then move, if that happens then
stay – that kind of thing. Feel free to write it down. Also, if You say You’re
going to do something for me, it would really help if You would actually do
that thing in THIS time/space continuum. I don’t know if You are aware of this
or not, O God, but when you speak You can be kind of cryptic. We are supposed to walk by the Spirit, but we are so bent on rules. We want them. We crave them. We have no way of measuring ourselves without them. What is that ‘A’ on your shirt for? Is that an A grade, or is that an A for ‘adulterer’? Are we still giving out ‘A’s? I thought we stopped doing that.
I walk the tightrope between super-natural grace and natural
consequences. I swing on the paradox between, God will supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory
and, Ahem, there aren’t actually any cattle in the stalls at the moment. I
trampoline between, God is my shield and
my defender, and Though He slay me,
yet I will trust Him. I was having the conversation with a friend the other
day, and we were talking about inconvenient troubles like slander, gossip and tarnished
reputation. I spoke very wisely from the depth of my experience, The truth always comes out in the end.
She looked at me straight, and said, Does
it? We laughed a little and the two of us agreed together – no. No, actually, it really does not.
Though the fig tree should not blossom, and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail, and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold, and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength, and He has made my feet like hinds feet, and makes me walk on my high places. Habakkuk 3:18-19
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