AFTER THE POOL

Now it was the Sabbath on that day. Therefore the Jews were saying to him who was cured, “It is the Sabbath, and it is not permissible for you to carry your pallet.” But he answered them, “He who made me well was the one who said to me, ‘Take up your pallet and walk.’” They asked him, “Who is the man who said to you, ‘Take up your pallet and walk’?” But he who was healed did not know who it was; for Jesus had slipped away while there was a crowd in that place. Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “Behold, you have become well; do not sin anymore, so that nothing worse may befall you.” The man went away, and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him well. And for this reason the Jews were persecuting Jesus, because He was doing these things on the Sabbath.  John 5:9-16

What was that made whole man from the pool of Bethesda doing in the temple when Jesus found him? If the disciples were filming an episode of Where Are They Now? that sounds like a great place to be found. Very spiritual. Maybe he wanted to get right with God. Maybe he was going to offer up some praise. Maybe he was just looking for a friend who could be happy for him, instead of envious of his wiggly new legs. It’s entirely possible – John doesn’t make note of what he was doing in the temple. But I have my suspicions, because of what Jesus said to him when he saw him. Look at yourself – you are well. Stop sinning, so something worse doesn’t happen to you.

One thing about Jesus – he didn’t run around randomly telling people to stop sinning. I can only think of one other time – after he had stepped in between an adulterous woman and a pile of flying rocks. After sending all her accusers away convicted, he said to her, I do not accuse you. Go and sin no more. No judgement. No lecture. He saw right into her heart and said, Don’t go back to your boyfriend.  

Jesus was not into making threats either, and so I wonder why, after the healing – later, in the temple – Jesus felt the need to say to the man from Bethesda, Stop sinning, or else. It doesn’t really sound like something Jesus would say.

Sometimes Jesus makes you whole, but you kind of wish he hadn’t. Jesus didn’t really prepare you for all that it was going to mean. You weren’t exactly emotionally ready when he came along and asked you if you wanted to be made whole. You mean, like, now? – Yes. I mean, like, right now. You can be a little upset that he asked you to choose.

Truthfully, if you’d had your druthers, you’d rather have had a little bit of time to adjust mentally. Get a few things out of your system. Take a little time to open yourself up to the idea of wholeness again. Get re-oriented with the world of the walking. You weren’t ready to hear, You can’t do that. You just wanted your heart to work – you weren’t even thinking about religion. You were not equipped to meet this new possibility that, in the world of the walking, your little miracle might be completely beside the point – that there might suddenly be expectations.

But this wasn’t an intervention and Jesus wasn’t offering rehab. Yes or no. Choose.

Take up my pallet and walk? Where am I supposed to go? – I’m not telling you where to go. I don’t care where you go. Walk wherever you want to walk. But do not stay here, and do not reserve your spot. Go today. Right now. Pick up that smelly old mat and move, man. You’ve got legs – use them.

I know what institutionalized looks like – when the captive doesn’t know what to do with freedom. I know what it sounds like – what the words are that keep them from being well. It isn’t my fault. That man who healed me, he told me to do it.

Jesus really hadn’t said, Pick up your mat and carry it around all day. He had only said, Take your spot by the pool with you when you go. But the man was still holding onto that ratty old pallet when religion came along. That symbol of his sickness and his poverty in spirit – it should have been anathema to him, but it wasn’t. He wasn’t holding onto it because Jesus had told him to – he was holding onto it because he still planned to use it. And so I think he was in God’s house doing the most predictable thing in the world – the only thing he knew how to do. He stopped carrying his mat on the Sabbath. He put down his pallet, rolled it out smooth and sat himself down on it. He curled his well legs up under himself, he stretched his well hands out in front of himself, and he started pretending unwell.

I don’t think the man got it. I think that maybe when Jesus came right up to him in the temple and called him on it, he started to get a little mad inside. Mad at Jesus.

Seriously, what is your issue with me? Who even asked you? I never said ‘yes’ to any of this. I was doing just fine before you came along with your ‘Do you want to be well’ shtick. I look well to you, do I? Really, Jesus? You and I must have seriously different ideas of what ‘well’ looks like. Because let me just point out to you that currently I’ve got no job, no home, no possessions, my legs are all pins and needles and my back is killing me, I haven’t stood toe to toe or looked anyone in the eyes in almost forty years, I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing or who I’m supposed to listen to – everyone is interrogating me and telling me what to do – I can’t even go back to my old friends because somebody else has my spot, and now I’ve got nothing but guilt and shame and trouble, thanks to you. Wiggly legs, and nowhere to run. And there is something that I would like to say to you, Jesus. I am considering the very real possibility that you set this whole thing up. This was never about me at all. You just wanted to use me to make a point. Well, you sure made it. So thanks, Jesus. Thanks a lot.

Maybe not. But what did the man do after Jesus found him – after he had learned the name of the one who had healed him, and exactly who Jesus was? He didn’t ask to be a disciple. He didn’t jump and leap for joy and cause a big scene. He didn’t pour tears all over Jesus feet. He didn’t do as the man born blind did four chapters later – get thrown out of the synagogue because he would not, could not deny the only Truth he was absolutely sure of, that I once was blind but now I see, and Jesus is the one who healed me.

He did not go forth and tell about Jesus – he went away and he told on Jesus.

This I know about Jesus – he can remove obstacles. He can come right up to you and whisper into your ear, and bring healing to you when you aren’t even sure that you want it. He draws close to the poor in spirit. But he cannot make you choose to be whole – even after he has already made you so. He cannot make you want to be well.

I don’t know what Jesus had in mind when he said, So that nothing worse may befall you – but I listen carefully to his story of The Unforgiving Servant, and how that man’s stone of debt came rolling back onto him. And I imagine that healed man from the pool of Bethesda walking around with a cold, unresponsive, not-my-fault, passive, paralyzed heart.